Firstly I will give you a run through account of our jaunt to Portsmouth last week......
To start with I would like to say that Portsmouth is SOOO WINDY. Oh my god literally I thought my car was going to fly away. And let us just say it didn't do much for my hair either. Bloody Wind. This is kinda how I felt....except less happy
Anyway so once we were inside the venue things began to run a little smoother. The set went great, there was a good crowd and people danced and shizz, generally making everyone feel pretty darn cool. Heres a little snippet of us and some photos:
For afters we went to this 'super cool' club (NOT) called Scandals. Despite the name apparently the only thing scandelous about it was that I couldn't stand fully upright on the dancefloor. Is everyone in this town tiny or something? This is how I felt......but again er....not so happy....or ginger.
So we happily danced the night away, Grant got very very VERY drunk as we can see.....
And we trip tripped off to some party where THIS abomination was taken.......
......and were only forced to leave when someone er......pooed in the sink. Yes ladies and gentlemen, they pooed. in. the. sink. Not only this, when we went to expect said article, there was also a fork inserted into one of the er...... poos. We thought this was hilarious but whoevers sink it was didn't. Hence the party was ruined and we left. Well known disgraced R n B singer Chris Brown was pretty sad about that.
It was at this point that I realised Jed wasn't with us anymore. I hadn't seen him since the midget club, and I didn't see him again that night.....so where had he gone? I would now like to play a brief game entitled "WHERE DID JED STAY?".
Did he stay here....?
Did he stay here.....?
Or maaaaybe he stayed HERE???
At some point I might let you know the answer, and all guesses are welcome!
Soooo next day we wake up.....my head hurts a bit.....I can't exactly remember getting home...I have a condom in my ear....the usual kinda stuff. We were kindly allowed to stay at a friend's cousin's house, and they had generously given us free reign over their kitchen. However being useless, lazy and hungover we set off in Metro the Hero to find the closest, easiest, cheapest food possible. And, like a mirage in a very grey damp desert SNACK WAGON appeared upon the horizon! We absolutely love Snack Wagon, particularly Max.....
We also absolutely adore Tracy who works in Snack Wagon, who definitely has a pretty cool Vajazzle hidden down there somewhere. (I would just like to point out at this stage that we do not know that the lady buttering our butties was called Tracy, or indeed that she has a Vajazzle 'hidden down there', but we'd like to believe that she does, so we're gonna. Oh and if she did it would probably look like this......
EDIT: my original photo of Tracy's Vajazzle has been censored by the evil internet men, so heres a slightly less x rated version.....but its soooooo not as cool
I had possibly the best sausage and egg sandwich of my life (no pun intended), and so three cups of tea and two episodes of 'Brit Cops' later we were back on the road home.
Cheers Portsmouth!
Next i guess I should talk about the gig we have on Tuesday. This is a good'un folks, CALL THE LANDLORD at Proud Galleries and its FREEEEEEEEEE! This is put on by the guys who organised those mega squat thingys and should be proper busy and proper fun. We have no stage time at the moment but will let you know as soon as we get the info!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=100742086664130
Also this is just a warning for the future. I have started to consider letting Metro the Hero go. I know you guys are gonna be upset. This is what happened when I told an old man earlier today.....
Oh and a dog......he took it pretty hard....
But, my people, the time may be near.
Just to give you a little nostalgic moment, heres me in Metro earlier this year escaping from an attempted hijacking attempt by a well known countryside terrorist group (they're pretty serious)
And so we have come to the end of todays installment! I hope you enjoyed and I leave you with confirmation that George Bush is an evil man......he eats kittys.....
Laurie -JF-
Oh p.s. follow us on twitter, like us on facebook and all that jazz, otherwise i may be forced to kill this puppy.
Its on your heads guys.....
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